At some point in life, people inevitably desire to become more independent. It starts with dressing yourself up on your own, having your own room, choosing your college, and consequently, getting your own place. And perhaps that time has arrived for you.
However, broaching the subject of leaving the nest can be difficult if you have strict, worrisome, or overprotective parents. That said, unless you’re underage, they can’t force you to stay in the family home if you’re determined to go. On the other hand, you don’t wish to leave on a bad note either.
Following the tips below can help you prepare to break out the news of leaving home. Mind you though, there’s no guarantee they will solve the potential problem of parental disapproval, but they can help make the process easier. To get you started, keep these pointers in mind when you decide to move out.
Make Sure You’re Ready
The first thing you need is to have a serious conversation with yourself about moving out. Are you truly ready to leave the nest? Because if you aren’t ready, you won’t do a good job of convincing your parents that you are. Start by answering these questions:
- Do you have a place to go after moving out? Is the neighborhood right for you?
- Do you have enough savings or a steady source of income to fund your desired lifestyle?
- Are you ready to handle the responsibility of maintaining a home (e.g. cleaning, cooking your own food)?
If you’re unsure of any answers, it may be time to reconsider your decision.
Iron Out Your Plans
If you’re truly ready to get your own place, it’s time to consider the logistics. This includes looking for reliable moving services, checking for available housing listings, securing a deposit, looking for a job (if you don’t have one), and figuring out what to do with your belongings.
One important tip is to make the list as detailed as possible. Research on reputable movers, get quotations from each of them, and compare them with one another. Check the crime rate and accessibility of the area you plan to move to. Figure out a game plan for any type of emergency, including sicknesses, fire, or theft.
By doing so, you can readily show your parents that you’ve thought this through.
Talk with Your Siblings and Friends Beforehand
Before talking to your parents, break the news to your siblings and friends first. Not only may they be more understanding, but they may also help you practice how to tell your parents. They may even help you address a concern you might have overlooked before, like getting insurance or renewing your licenses.
Approach the More Willing Parent First
If you’re afraid to take on both parents at once, apply the strategy “divide and conquer.” Talk with the parent whom you feel is more willing to let you get your own place. They may be shocked at first and they will have questions. Getting them on your side, however, will make it easier to convince the other parent that it’s time for you to leave the nest.
Drop Hints About Your Intent
It pays to drop hints about your intention to leave the house months before actually getting out of the house. You can express your desire to live in a particular neighborhood or city. You can subtly inject the idea of independence while having a normal conversation with your parents. You can also talk about your friends who may already be getting their own places. All in all, there are many ways to do this. The trick is to keep it light and subtle, and let the idea flow naturally while talking with them.
Choose the Right Time and Place
The last thing you want is to make a scene in a public place. Instead, opt for a private place where you can have a long and meaningful conversation with them. Break the news when they aren’t busy and have the time to have a lengthy discussion with you. After all, they will have a lot of questions, so it’s imperative to choose the right place and time for when you tell them your intentions.
Be Considerate of Your Parents’ Feelings
Last but not least is to be considerate of your parents’ feelings. After all, most of the time they only wish the best for you and are simply afraid that you may get hurt without the protection and comfort offered in the family home. Validate their feelings, and kindly address their concerns by showing that you’re prepared. Reiterate that leaving the nest doesn’t translate to leaving them behind or cutting connections with them. You simply wish to become more independent while keeping your relationship with them the same. In this manner, they don’t feel tossed aside and might even become more willing to let you go.
Overall, leaving the nest of parents—whether strict, overprotective or simply attached to you—can be difficult. With enough preparations and a determined stance, however, you can help direct the conversation in your favor. Remember to bear these tips in mind to help you break the news to your parents effectively and peacefully.