Many parents experience their adult children moving out of the house once they reach 18 and consider it as an important milestone. For other parents, they don’t see their child wanting to leave until they are told to. It’s acceptable to share a household for financial or other reasons. However, if being under the same roof is no longer comfortable or tolerable, then it’s time to ask your child to move out.
As a parent, you might think allowing your child to stay in your home is a way to care for them. If you do this, it can hinder them from maturing and becoming independent. Also, you must understand that your relationship as a parent-child is changing. It is shifting to one between fellow adults, and you are one of the people that can help make this transition successful. To encourage your child to move out, here are some ways you can help prepare them.
Understand Your Motives
Part of preparing your child to move out is getting yourself ready as well. Start with assessing your motives and intentions for asking your child to move out so that you can communicate this better once you finally get the chance to talk to them. Be clear with what you want by asking yourself questions like:
- Are you looking forward to your child becoming more independent?
- Have the living conditions become intolerable or volatile that you are no longer comfortable in your own home?
The answers to these questions can help determine the best course of action you can take. Also, remember to discuss these concerns with your partner so you can agree on the statements you will present to your child together.
Talk to Your Child
Lashing out at your child about moving out of your house isn’t encouraging, and it can put a strain on your relationship. Instead, sit down with them and talk about your concerns regarding the current living conditions and how moving out is best for all members of the household. During this time, your child might show hesitance to move out. You need to remind them this is to support their independence.
To encourage them to take the step to adulthood, you can offer suggestions in looking for resources your child might need when they move out. This includes recommending safe neighborhoods where they can look for apartments and job openings that suit their skills. In case they are considering moving across the state, you can also help them select companies that offer long distance moving or interstate moving services.
Establish Boundaries and Take Action
Even if you and your child have agreed that they need to move out, it’s possible that their new place is not immediately available. If they plan to extend their stay in your home, you can start preparing your child to become a responsible adult by setting clear boundaries during their temporary stay.
While you can provide their meals at home, you can start letting them pay for nonessential expenses like phones, haircuts, gas money, and internet access. They can start taking responsibility for these personal expenses so they can begin to have an idea of what to expect when they move out.
To let your child know that you are serious with the boundaries you are setting, show it through definitive actions. You can help your child with packing their personal belongings and putting them into storage. You can place the boxed items in the garage, but if you don’t have enough space at home, you can ask your child to get professional movers that offer moving with storage service. They are a better option when you require temporary storage while your child is waiting to move into their new home. Such a display of your determination can help ease them into life as an adult.
Encouraging your child to move out of your house doesn’t mean you no longer care for them. It’s actually the opposite since you believe they are ready to take on the responsibilities of being an adult. Don’t let your guilt trick you into coddling your adult children. Instead, allow them to learn things by themselves—away from the comforts of your home.